


Their Resolve

by Persiflage



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cousy Rewatch, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daisy Is The Only Marvel Superhero, Episode Tag, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, Light Angst, POV Phil Coulson, Sad Sexy Baby Deer Phil Coulson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 12:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12606640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persiflage/pseuds/Persiflage
Summary: Episode Tag for 'A Hen in the Wolf House' - Coulson learns to accept Skye's help in the matter of his carving.





	Their Resolve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zauberer_sirin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/gifts), [hamsterfactor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamsterfactor/gifts).



> Written for the Johnson & Coulson Cousy Rewatch on Tumblr.

Coulson watches as Skye moves from his side to look more closely at the carvings, and he feels a mixture of profound relief that he no longer has to keep this a secret from her, and terror that she’s going to be horrified, or worse, think that he’s some kind of monster. When she reaches out and touches one of the symbols he feels as if his heart’s leapt into his throat. Her touch is careful, almost tender, and he shivers involuntarily at the thought of her touching him like that. It’s an unwelcome thought because that’s not what Skye is to him, except, in his secret heart, that’s exactly what she is.

“I do,” Skye tells him. “It’s a map.” 

He stares, a little incredulously. “A map,” he repeats. “How do you know?”

She shrugs, looking a little self-conscious. “I don’t exactly know.”

He moves towards her, and is a little startled when she puts her hand on his wrist, but he’s grateful for the touch, too – it seems to ground him, as Skye so often does. “Where’s it a map for?” he asks.

She shakes her head. “I don’t know yet.” She tilts her head, considering, and he realises she’s still got her left hand on the symbol she touched earlier, and her right hand is wrapped around his wrist. He finds himself thinking about how Skye has been instrumental in reconnecting him to the better parts of himself – she’s eroded much of his cynicism that had accumulated over the years, cynicism he had largely been unaware of until Skye came along and overwhelmed him with her positivity, and the belief that SHIELD could and would do the right thing, despite any evidence to the contrary.

She turns towards him and he’s not sure what his face is doing, but she gives him a concerned look, then slides her right hand up his arm to his shoulder and he gladly turns towards her and wraps his arms around her.

She reciprocates. “It’s okay, Coulson,” she murmurs, and he’s reminded of earlier, when he’d been trying to comfort her over her father. “We’ll figure this out.” 

“You will,” he says.

“ _We_ will,” she says firmly. “I promise.” 

He wants to kiss her for that, but he holds himself back. He can’t start anything with her right now. He shouldn’t start anything with her _at all_ , he knows, but he wants to so badly, and in a way that he doesn’t recall ever wanting to be with someone before. Not that this is a surprise to him – Skye has always affected him very strongly, from the first moment they met (since before they met, even – he cannot forget the profound affect her podcasts had on him even before Ward pulled open the door of her van and he set eyes on her for the first time).

She lets go of him, and he does his best to stifle a sigh of regret that he’s no longer in her arms. She gives him a half smile, then reaches up to cup his cheek with her left hand – the one that had been touching the symbols, and he wonders if that’s significant, then wonders if he’s overthinking everything.

“We’ve got a lot to talk about,” she says quietly. “So I’m gonna go downstairs and say hello to Simmons, then I’ll grab some coffee, and we can sit down and talk properly about the last few months. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Her hand drops from his cheek to his shoulder and she squeezes it, then pulls away from him and he forces himself not to reach for her – he’s desperate and needy, but there’s no reason for him to show Skye that he’s in such a pathetic state (he suspects she already knows, but why prove it?).

“You should sit down,” she tells him. “Before you fall down.”

“Yeah.” He scrubs his hand over his face, then moves towards the couch, not wanting to trap himself behind his desk for their conversation.

When Skye returns, he’s leaning back against the couch, eyes closed and, if he’s honest, he’s half way to falling asleep. He doesn’t hear her open and close his door, and only becomes aware of her return when she squeezes his shoulder again. He opens his eyes, and looks up, and feels such a surge of love for her at the tender look she’s giving him that it’s all he can do to refrain from blurting out his feelings.

“Maybe you should go to bed and we’ll talk about this tomorrow?” she suggests.

He shakes his head. “I suspect we’ll be busy tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”   
He straightens up and notices she’s brought the promised pot of coffee, and on the tray with it and a couple of mugs is a plate of sandwiches and a couple of bags of chips.

“You didn’t get the chance to eat in that fancy restaurant earlier,” she says, “so I nabbed these from Billy.”

“You didn’t eat either,” he points out, not wanting her to think he’s unaware.

“Exactly.” 

For a few minutes they sit in silence (and Coulson’s relieved to realise that it’s a companionable silence) enjoying their sandwiches and coffee. He’s reminded of when they lived on the Bus and she used to have breakfast with him during that period when she wore the dampener bracelet: he’s going to do his best not to get nostalgic over that – after all, they were basically living a lie on the Bus, but somehow things seemed simpler back then. 

After a few minutes Skye begins talking, telling him about her training with May. May has, of course, kept him fully informed of Skye’s progress, but it’s good to hear it from Skye. She talks about her fears for Simmons, how hard it was to deal with shooting Donnie Gill, even though she knew intellectually that it had to be done – and she reveals the details of her conversation with Ward.

“He told me that HYDRA will win ‘because while a SHIELD agent is considering right and wrong, HYDRA’s already taken the shot’.”

Coulson looks at her expression and feels his heart clench a bit. “And you think that influenced you when it came to Donnie?” he asks softly.

She gives a one-shoulder shrug, scowls, then nods. “Yeah.”

“Skye.” He can’t help putting his hand on her forearm. “You did the only thing you could do in the circumstances – Donnie’s brainwashing had obviously been re-activated, and you had to save yourself and your team mates – shooting him was the only choice.”

“I know,” she says heavily. “I know. But I don’t have to like it.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you did like it,” he says. “You’re not a killer, and you’re not a monster – no matter what you might think on the evidence of your father’s behaviour.” She shakes her head, and he reaches up to cup her cheek, and she turns towards him.

“Skye,” he says. “You’re the best person I know. You’re a good person, full of kindness and compassion, but you don’t let that stop you from doing the right thing.”

She sighs, then nods, but she still looks unhappy and Coulson can’t help himself – he drops his hand to her shoulder, gives it a squeeze, then wraps his arm around her and she quickly moves to hug him back.

“This feels so much better than the other thing,” she tells him, her face buried in his neck.

“The other thing?” 

“You keeping me at arms’ length.”

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “It wasn’t easy, but I was so scared.”

“You shutting me out scared me. I felt – “

She cuts herself off and he tightens his arms around her. 

“What did you feel?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” He pulls back and she lifts her head, and he sees her eyes are wet with unshed tears, and that makes him want to cry, but he swallows the feeling down. “Tell me, please?”

She swallows and closes her eyes. “I felt like you didn’t really want me here, that I no longer mattered except as a means to extract information from Ward.” When she opens her eyes again he feels terribly guilty at the pain in them.

“Skye.” He feels like he might burst into tears himself at her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just trying to protect you.”

“I know.” Her voice sounds heavy with resignation. “I just wish you’d told me sooner.”

“May said I should tell you at the outset,” he offers.

“Well why didn’t you listen to her?”

“Because I’m a fool,” he admits, and is surprised when she smirks. “What?”

“Well you’re not wrong. You were a fool for keeping this from me. We could’ve sorted this out months ago if I’d seen those carvings sooner.”

He glances over at the wall and shivers, and she tightens her arms around him, then surprises him by leaning in and pressing her lips to his brow. 

“I love the fact that you want to protect me,” she says softly. “But you need to stop doing that. I’m a SHIELD agent, not a kid.” She cups his cheek in her hand and stares at him. “Understand?”

“Yes.” He knows he shouldn’t do it, even before he does it, but he somehow can’t stop himself – he turns his head slightly and presses his lips to her palm.

Her eyes go wide, but there’s no horror or revulsion there, just surprise. “Coulson.”

“Skye.” He kisses the pulse point in her wrist next, and her eyes are still wide, but she doesn’t try to pull her hand away. Feeling bolder, he trails his lips up the inside of her forearm, and she shudders, moans his name quietly, then she turns his face towards hers and leans in, pausing with her lips hovering over his. He doesn’t stop to consider the wisdom of what he’s doing, nor does he remind himself he shouldn’t start anything with her, he simply leans in and meets her lips with his own.

It feels like the best first kiss he’s ever had, and he quickly loses himself in the pleasure of kissing and being kissed. Skye isn’t the least bit passive, of course, and as she nips at his bottom lip, he feels her passion arousing his, and he realises that the compulsion to carve is being subsumed by his desire. That realisation makes him pull back, slowly, so she won’t think he’s rejecting her. 

“This isn’t a good time to start this,” he tells her, low-voiced and regretful.

She snorts, an unladylike sound that makes him want to smile. “Face it, Coulson, there’s never a good time to start this.”

“No, true, but now is a very bad time, at least while I’m compelled to carve.” He cups her face in both his hands and gazes at her, wanting her to understand. “Since we don’t know whether you being around me won’t have a detrimental effect on you, I don’t want to risk hurting you or triggering you, or something, by us becoming intimate.” He swallows and wonders if he sounds like he’s pleading with her – it feels like he is. “I can’t lose you, Skye. I just can’t.”

She rests her forehead against his. “Okay, okay. I get it.” She clasps his shoulders and pulls back. “I don’t like it, but I do understand why you feel this way. Personally, I don’t think my proximity to you, or our intimacy, will make any difference to me, but I’m not going to push you and make you feel uncomfortable about this on top of everything else that’s wigging you out.”

“Thank you.”

“But we will revisit this conversation after we’ve got this sorted out. Deal?”

He smiles. He can’t help himself – Skye’s confidence and optimism make him feel better than he’s felt for months. “Deal.”

She nods, then moves away from him and goes back to the wall. He gets to his feet and joins her, wondering what she’s seeing that he couldn’t.

“I need to cover this up,” he says, sighing heavily.

“Let me help.”

Her immediate offer of assistance is completely unsurprising and after only a moment he agrees. He fetches the plaster and tools, and within a few minutes they’re hard at work.

For the first time since he saw Garrett’s writing, Coulson feels a tiny bit of hope for his future, and while a small part of him wishes that Skye hadn’t figured out he’s the one creating the carvings, the larger part of him is deeply grateful: maybe he won’t go the same way as Garrett after all. He hopes not because he really wants to kiss her again.

When she catches him staring at her instead of working, she gives him a slightly lopsided smirking smile, then gets back to work, and after another moment of staring, he resumes his task. Today’s turned out differently to how he expected, but all-in-all he cannot complain.


End file.
